As a follow-up to the chicken beating, we have a sausage attack. This comes to us from the Daytona Beach News-Journal:
Man arrested after beaning mom with sausage
A 46-year-old man was jailed for beaning his mother with a three-pound pack of polish sausage, police said.
Gregory Allan Praeger was charged with battery on Saturday after admitting he threw the 3-pound package of sausage at his mother and hitting her in the head, a DeLand police report said.
But the story would not be complete without this response from a loyal reader:
You’ve never sau-sage a mess.
That finally explains it! Attack the sausage before it attacks you!