Message for Will Ohman

Hey, Will! Enjoy your new home! I’m sure Des Moines will treat you well.

A word of advice, though: when you pitch, throw strikes. Get people out. It makes things a lot easier. Also, when you don’t get people out, don’t kid yourself or anyone else that you have been. It makes you look like a bigger buffoon than you already are.Oh, and don’t claim to be injured. It makes you look weak and, of course, petty.

From Paul Sullivan’s notebook:

After learning of the demotion, Ohman said he would travel to Chicago instead of reporting to Iowa immediately to get his left shoulder examined by Cubs physician Stephen Gryzlo.

Why didn’t Ohman just go on the disabled list if his shoulder was hurting, instead of waiting to announce it after he was demoted?

“Have you seen what I’ve done for the last month and a half?” he asked. “I was doing just fine. I’ve had two rough games back-to-back. Prior to that, I’ve been getting outs and getting them successfully.”

Ohman has a 9.00 earned-run average since the All-Star break, and said his shoulder “has been barking” for a while.

(For those of you wondering, a 9.00 ERA is not good. It’s quite bad. So bad that the stench you smell is that ERA.)

So his shoulder has been barking? Barking?

The fact is, Will Ohman is a terrible player, a terrible human being, and the guy who has stolen more money from a Chicago-based media conglomerate this side of Conrad Black. How I hate Will Ohman.