The Blog @ TJBrown.com Rotating Header Image

Animal Tales

The Birds, Part II

They’re back! Actually, they never left!

After repairing* three (3) screens ravaged by birds, we have found two more window screens destroyed. More work for this weekend.

Birds are evil. Do not forget this.

More importantly, does anyone know how to keep the birds from flying into our window screens?

* OK, so my wife did most of the work repairing them. I simply wanted to get a professional. Is that so bad? Besides, I did help.

The latest national menace

A threat to clean cars, window screens, glass doors, sanity and the American way of life everywhere.Let there be no mistake about it: few things threaten all that is good in the world as much as birds. Don’t let the high-pitched chirping, the (mostly) diminutive features and the innocent looks on these creatures’ faces fool you. They must be stopped. Eliminated, even.

A feathered fiend similar to that on the left was what stood (flew?) in the way of me having a relaxing weekend. Well, that and dental issues. Well, that and dental issues, and not completing an inventory of the food in the refrigerator before my wife came home from a girls’ weekend. OK, that, dental issues, not completing an inventory of the food in the refrigerator before my wife came home from a girls’ weekend, and Alfonso Soriano.

All right, if I include Alfonso Soriano (and his dropped fly ball WITH TWO OUTS IN THE NINTH INNING AND THE TYING RUN ON BASE!), I really should include the Pittsburgh Pirates on this list. And of course, that’s only appropriate, as some of us know what the Pirates’ mascot is:

Cocaine-dealing, Pirates’-rooting blight on Pennsylvania!

(more…)